|
|
|
« December 2005 |
Main
| February 2006 »
OPENING NIGHT
Well, we got through it. Thursday night was really the first night we had an audience. Even though it's still technically previews, it was opening night as far as I was concerned. And it didn't go all that well. It was just a bit klunky. The audience (mostly friends and family of cast and crew and the members of 29th Street Rep). They were real supportive. Oddly enough, I couldn't figure out why I was walking back to the subway late at night, feeling unsatisfied and quite frankly - depressed. I came to the theater the next night (Friday, January 27th) early. I had a long talk with Sturgis the Director. He told me that I was "playing" to the audience. I was up on stage watching myself (a dangerous predicament for any actor). Lines would come out and in my head I'd hear, "Oooh - that sucked! Why'd you say it like that?!" Than I'd hear myself say, "Why are you standing like this?" I couldn't get out of my head. Of course the audience couldn't tell and they seemed to really dig the show. Except for the one couple that left during intermission. The play, although, a comedy (for the most part) was just a little too brutal for them. This is not a play for the conservative. Just so you know.
Anyway, I learned a valuable lesson after opening night - The biggest note the director was able to give me was "ENJOY YOURSELF!" I know it's so simple in philosophy, just like "Don't Worry, Be Happy" but I really have to keep reminding myself why I am doing what I am doing. Make sense? Who the hell am I talking too!? Who the hell is reading this!? F' it!! I am enjoying myself while I am writing this whether anyone reads it or not. So there!
Hmmm. I feel pretty numb. I love the cast, I personally love the play, and most of all, I love my part. I think every actor in this production is pretty damn solid. It's weird. There's so much chemistry on stage that I feel with each actor and yet the cast has not bonded on a social level outside the theater much. It could be a good thing in a way because of how each character relates to one another within the story. There is no tight bond (other than blood or marriage) between any of the characters.
90% of a great performance is attributed to confidence. Saying each line, committing each action on stage with utter confidence and conviction in what you are doing I believe is the root to a good performance. Beyond that has to do with your own personal work on the your own charcter. Once you've done enough work on your character and how he/she fits into the scope of the play, and then once you've had all your lines and actions within the play committed to your absolute deepest psyche, than you will deliver with confidence and conviction. But it can be a catch 22 for someone as neurotic as myself (neurotic in the most charming sense of the word). Once I hear or FEEL the response from the audience, then the confidence takes over and I am as relaxed on stage as I am in my own apartment. But, then again, I might not get that response if I don't have the confidence to begin with before I walk out on stage. There in lies the rub. So, F-CK it! It's time to relax and play part as best I could and not care one iota what the audience, critic, or industry professional think. It's about me and having a good time for me.
So that said, if you like it, great, and if you don't, I'll find the nearest manhole that I can crawl into and have myself a good ol' cry.
Ok. I am still not sure what to think about how people (namely critics) will respond to this show. When we play the humor and we don't go up on our lines like we all have been doing during these final days of rehearsal, this is a real real fun play to be a part of. We are still figuring out the humor, the drama, the realism, surrealism, the hyper-realism and the hyper-surrealism and where it all takes place during the course of the show. During all the previously mentioned styles of theater, the one common thing an actor must do is find the truth in the lines and the situations. Then the play and the audiences response will be our final director and they, (the audience and hopefully whoever's reading this: Mom, Dad, Scooter, and Rook) will feed us and teach us how best this play should be played. In some respects it is as mindless as Dumb & Dumber and in others it's as deep as Schindler's List. From moment to moment you don't know whether to respond to something as drama or comedy. This happens throughout the play. So my advice: Take it all in as comedy. Even if you don't belly laugh, see the humor even in the somewhat disturbing scenes. It's there. Us actors are trying to fine tune that before we open on Thursday. I must say I am blessed to be working with such a wonderful cast: Carolyn, Suzanne, David, and of course Heidi. We all have our own methods of working and we haven't gotten in the way of each other much. It's wonderful and I respect everyone's pre-curtain method of preparation. My ritual, is stretching first and breathing - and absolute incessant pacing to work off my nervous energy. This is important because it is a physically and emotionally exhausting show to do and I want to be in tip top shape for each performance. So I only eat Buffalo Wings on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, Only on occasion will I order the wings for Sunday Football. Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'll make sure I order extra lettuce on my Big Mac to get my healthy dose of vegetables!
The point being, before a show like this, actors are obligated to keep themselves healthy. In some contracts for an acting job, diet and exercise are a requirement.
We as the actors are a little nervous about how this play will be received. Will people find it funny? Repulsive? Offensive? Sad? What will the critics think? Will we get slammed? Praised? Or even worse, not even written about? As much as an actor should NEVER be concerned about such nonsense, it is still very present in an actor's mind. Afterall, this is why we do it. For praise, for adoration. I've talked about this worry of mine extensively with my friend, Rob. He has to keep reminding me that this is part of the gig. Anyone that decides to pursue a life in the arts must face judement on a constant bases. Especially as an actor. An agent judges you before he takes you on. A casting director judges you when they call you in for an audition. The Director and Producers judge you during your audition callbacks. And finally when you get the gig, now the audience will judge you and even worse, the critics. So in order to maintain my sanity, Rob reminds me to just focus on the work. Focus on the monologue and do my job before I present it to an agent. Focus on the sides and the script and do my job at the audition before the Director, Casting Directors, and Producers. And finally, focus on the part that I was blessed to be cast in, and do the best job I can with the material that I was given and all will fall into place. Even if reviews are bad which every actor must face at one time or another, I have to press on because this is what I love and no one can take my love away from me. Not even Scooter and Rook. Whoever the F_ CK they are!
"Actors are some of the most driven courageous people on the face of the earth. They deal with more day to day rejection in one year than most people do in a lifetime. Every day, actors face the financial challenge of living a freelance lifestyle, the disrespect of people who think they should get 'real' jobs, and their own fear that they'll never work again. Everyday they have to ignore the possibility that the vision to which they have dedicated their lives is a pipe dream. With every passing year, many of them watch as other people their age achieve the predictable milestones of normal life - the car, the family, the house, the nest egg. But they stay true to their dream, in spite of the sacrifices. Why? Because actors are willing to give their entire lives to a moment - to that line, that laugh, that gesture, or that interpretation that will stir the audience's soul. Actors are beings who have tasted life's nectar in that crystal moment when they poured out their creative spirit and touched another's heart. In that instant, they were as close to magic, God and perfection as anyone could ever be. And in their own hearts, they know that to dedicate oneself to that moment is worth a thousand lifetimes." - David Ackert
Well it's coming along. It's weird. The set is practically finished. We are almost all off book (meaning our lines are learned and we no longer need the scripts in our hands). We still have to call for "Line" when we flub but that's expected as we are trying to get used to the set, props, our acting, exits and entrences on to the stage during each scene. It's a lot to know. Being in ANY theatre production is a lot more physically and emotionally exhausting than any non-actor would ever think. You definitely exert the mind, the body AND even the spirit so by the time the show ends you are so so spent. Books have documented that the stress levels an actor endures on an opening night performance is equivalant to a car accident victim. How's that for a fact!? That said: The way I feel now, a week before opening...considering the burden of the show in some ways falls in my hands, I'd say by opening night, it will feel like two 18 wheeler tractor trailers in a 120mph head-on-collision! If it all comes together, it should make for a very entertaining show. We had one of the best fight coreographers in the theater biz work out our "physical" scenes. This means we have a fight call everynight before performance, which means getting to the theater about 2 hours before curtain to run through each physical scene. The reason being, when you're on stage and your emotions start to run high, and your adrenaline starts pumping and you have a staged fight, you can forget about safety, get a little out of control, and someone will get hurt. So we have to go over it and over it so the "control" aspect stays engrained in our psyche. Even when your character is out of control, there is a method to controlling what appears to be uncontrolled actions to the audience. Does that make any sense?
Anyway, Saturday January 21, we have tech rehearsal from 10am to 11pm. This is a cue to cue. This is when you go through each moment or action in each scene so the lighting and sound designers can figure out where to aim each light and how to fade in and out of each scene. It is also a rehearsal for the stage hands to get a feel for changing the scenery/props/and furnature for each scene. It is tedious and it is when the cast bonds the most before the production due to lots of down time between light and scene changes. Also, we get real delerious and laughter spreads throughout the theater as well as agitation.
I do have a cute little bit of a "half" love scene with the great Heidi James. You'll see what I mean. It's amazing how coreographed love scenes are. My counterpart is very attractive so there is the potential "arousal" problem. But we are all professionals right? Heeeelll No!
I said to Heidi, "I apologize in advanced if I get aroused. I also apologize if I DON'T get aroused..."
Tonight we worked on staging my very first love scene ever. Wow...
Ok. Can't sleep. Haven't been able to sleep properly for the past week. Went to bed at 2:30am this morning and I woke up at 5:30am and my mind was racing. Amazing, when I had to be up early for work or school, you couldn't drag my ass out of bed with a fork lift. Now that I have a little bit of time off during the day (to focus on my play) an Ambien/Xanex/Tylonol PM cocktail washed down with a shot of Nyquil can't seem to keep me asleep.
Typing these blogs is kind of weird. I feel like Doogie Howser. Or better yet, Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex in the City where at the end of the show they type into their digital diaries something profound. Doesn't matter to me that there are probably 4 or 5 people that will be reading this, 2 of which may be my parents. It feels good to write when there is a lot on my mind.
So why can't I sleep? Probably due to anxiety (duh) and excitement. Two main ingredients for insomnia.
Last night rehearsal was grueling. We just started blocking the play. For the couple of people out of the 5 that are reading this that don't know what blocking is: Blocking is the term for ALL physical movement and action that takes place during the course of the show (or scene in a TV show or Movie). This is the hardest part (mentally and physically) for an actor during the rehearsal process. You still have your scripts in hand, your lines and character are not yet familiar to you, and you need to keep track of where to move or what to do in each scene or on each line. So you clumsily move through each scene, trying to keep track of each physical action, fumbling over props, stumbling over furniture mainly because you have your damn script in hand. It is the most tedious yet very necessary part of the rehearsal process. It is a time when you feel like the worst actor because you don't quite have the character down yet. You can't possibly summon the emotions required because everything at this point is so technical. So this is where we are at in the rehearsal process. Sturgis, the director, has been wonderful about keeping the lines of communication open for collaboration.
One luxury we have is that we are rehearsing in the actual space where we will be performing. A rarity in theater. Most times you don't get onto the actual stage until a week or two before opening night (depending on the size of the show). The space is very small and intimate. Especially for professional theater. There are only about 70 seats in the house though it LOOKS more like 40.
I feel a bit self conscious with the writer at the rehearsals. I am constantly wondering if I am staying on track with my interpretation of the character he had in mind when he was writing the play. It's a bit neurotic. Especially since he was one of the decision makers who cast me in the role. But then again, I am an actor AND I'm Jewish. Which pretty much makes me a big f'n mess.
Rehearsals are going great so far. The entire cast is phenomenal. The director is great and the writer is great.
The first rehearsal was basically a table read and a thorough discussion about the play. We each had to introduce ourselves and mention our backgrounds and whatnot.
Sturgis, the director, is basically breaking the play down, scene by scene. Asking us questions about our characters. We are just sitting in chairs right now. The writer has been constantly tweaking the play over the past few days, and tightening up the dialogue and whatnot which is an actual benefit to workshopping a new unpublished script. He is open to input and collaboration and he'll see something that we do and it will spark an idea for him to write.
It is starting to dawn on me the responsibility I have to help carry this show. It is a bit daunting as I am called upon to be on stage pretty much the whole show outside of one scene and to weave in and out of just about every human emotion we know of and possibly some that haven't existed till this play was written (kidding, of course).
This is going to be a great challenge as an actor and I hope I don't suck.
|
|
| Subscribe to Todd's eNewsletter |
|
|
|
|
