I just got back from a Pizza Hut audition this morning. Here's what happened.

This girl and I were called into a room together to play husband and wife. She was cute. From L.A. Very cute. We look at each other and immediately recognize each other from somewhere but can't seem to place where, when and how.

Girl: I know I met you somewhere. You look real familiar.

Me: Yeah. You look familiar too.

[and we both stare at each other for a few seconds with a blank inquisitive look].

The Casting Director interrupts our little moment to give us our directions for the audition. It was cute and funny and we worked well together. We leave and while we are waiting for the elevator we still try to place how we know each other.

Girl: Do you do improv?

Me: No. Well not professionally, only in my everyday life.

Girl: [She laughs]. Oh you mean like right now? [we both laugh]

Then we ask about various commercial auditions we may have seen each other on but we can't place it. So we continue small talk as we ride the elevator down. Of course, "man" mode kicks in and in the deep dark trenches of my mind I hear that drill seargant voice saying, "Get her number, Private! Get her number!"

[oh, who am I kidding. this isn't in the deep dark trenches of my mind. It's actually right in the forefront of my mind! It's practically imprinted on my forehead!]

Anyway, I ignore the voice for now and figure I'll get a contact number when we say goodbye downstairs. So as we are exiting the building I ask her what made her just up and leave LA to come to New York or some dumb question like that, but before the whole question even escapes my mouth she suddenly increases her speed (remember the Kingda Ka blog?) and jumps ahead of me with an arm stretched out to hail a cab. As she hails her cab she turns her head and says, "Sorry but I have to catch a cab to work!" As she gets in and without turning around she shouts, "It was nice meeting you!"

My eyes widen, my jaw drops, and I stand still for a moment with a total blank stare feeling rather schmucky. After a moment I shrug my shoulders, put on my headphones to my iPod, crank up the next song which happened to be "Ticket To Ride" by The Beatles and I start to head back to the Viacom building where I work.

Then a cab stops at the corner (the light was green by the way), it honks and the girl opens the car door and yells out to me, "You were in Lenny & Lou at 29th Street Rep!! That's how I know you! You were awesome!"

Wow. What a city. What a biz.

She closes the door of the stopped cab while a barage of horns start honking. The window rolls down and I even think she gave me a thumbs up and blew me a kiss but I don't know. I started to see spots. All I could hear is the drill seargant again shouting, "Private! Are you a Goddamned Pussy! Private!!? Wake up and get her number NOW Private before I rip out your eyes and skull fuck you!!!"

So as the cab pulls away I snap out of it for a sec and I shout, "WHAT'S YOUR EMAIL!!??"

[What's your EMAIL?] ??

Yes, I am a schmuck.

She sticks her head out of the window as the cab starts to pull away and I think she yelled it out to me but I couldn't hear. The cab starts to pick up spead and she shouts something again making undecipherable hand gestures at me out the window. But I simply couldn't hear her. She could have yelled out, "ImNotTellingYou@Don'tStalkMe.com!" I don't know. I just see the cab speeding further and further into the distance and just when you think I couldn't get any schmuckier - I loose ALL sensibility, ALL that is cool - and I blurted out, "Toddwall.tv! ToddWall.tv!! TODDWALL.TV!!!" At the top of my lungs.

Yup. That was the best I could do. That was all that came to my silly little head. Shouting out my website.

I am almost positive she didn't hear me but I can pretty much bet the rest of TIMES SQUARE did. Maybe even the people in the Abercrombie & Fitch store. Well maybe that's stretching it a bit.

Anyway, I finally came to. The spots I was seeing disappeared and I finally became aware of where I was and what I had just done. So I chuckle to myself as I shake my head in shame for the second time today and I shuffle back to work with the idea for my next blog pulsating in my head.

I don't know if I'll ever see this girl again. But hey, maybe I'll get more traffic to my website!

Goodnight!